I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!
- The Simpsons

If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different...I'd rather be completely fucking mental.
- Angelina Jolie

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours-it is an amazing journey-and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.
- Unknown

Some people say that gays shouldn't be allowed to marry because it's supposed to be a bond between a man and a woman. They say, 'Well, if we let people of the same sex marry then everyone will want to marry animals'. That's right where they go to. I don't want to marry a goat, I really don't. You're reading the paper, he's eating it. 'Don't you eat that, don't you eat that, ahh I love you, you goat'. They call us crazy!
- Ellen DeGeneres

I'm a godmother. That's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short. That's cute, I taught her that.
- Ellen DeGeneres

The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was no one on the other line. Once she said, 'God bless you'. I said, 'I didn't sneeze'. She looked deep into my eyes and said, 'You will, eventually'. And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed.
- Ellen DeGeneres

It's so weird all the different names they have for groups of animals. They have pride of lions, school of fish, rack of lamb. . .
- Ellen DeGeneres

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