What do you think she meant by a million, like two?

— By Dr. Hodgins; Under TV: Bones

For God's sake, shake me. Shake me like a British nanny.

— By Stewie; Under TV: Family Guy

Oh, I hate it when your mother worries. She usually says things like "I told you so" and "Stop doing that, I'm asleep."

— By Peter; Under TV: Family Guy

Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you, very homosexua

— By Peter; Under TV: Family Guy

867-5309, yes that's it. Wait that's not it, damn you Tommy Two-Tone. Huh, only one thing to do 111-1111, Lois? Damn. 111-1112 Lois? DAMN. 111-1113. . .

— By Stewie; Under TV: Family Guy

[Brian and Chris try to sneak into a fair by wearing a horse suit] Wait a minute. . .your ass just sneezed. And horses can't talk. No, no. . .nothing here adds up at all.

Tom, you're so deep in the closet you're finding Christmas presents.

— By Diane; Under TV: Family Guy

[plucks a banjo] Oh! I feel so delightfully white trash! Mummy, I want a mullet!

— By Stewie; Under TV: Family Guy

[after Lois tries to feeding him broccoli "airplane style"] Damn you, damn the broccoli, and damn the Wright Brothers.

— By Stewie; Under TV: Family Guy

Do these huggies make my ass look big?

— By Stewie; Under TV: Family Guy