Quotes By Stewie
For God's sake, shake me. Shake me like a British nanny.
867-5309, yes that's it. Wait that's not it, damn you Tommy Two-Tone. Huh, only one thing to do 111-1111, Lois? Damn. 111-1112 Lois? DAMN. 111-1113. . .
[plucks a banjo] Oh! I feel so delightfully white trash! Mummy, I want a mullet!
[after Lois tries to feeding him broccoli "airplane style"] Damn you, damn the broccoli, and damn the Wright Brothers.
Do these huggies make my ass look big?
Oh, let me guess. Another box with a crank that I turn and turn and turn until. . .whoo. . .a clown pops out. Then you laugh, the kids laugh, the dog laughs, and I die a little more inside.
Oh, my God, Jeremy's still in the trunk! How long has it been? Two weeks. Nope, he's dead.
Mm, Florida. Just think somewhere in this state right now Jeb Bush is eating a live puppy.
Hey, Brian, remember me? I'm the guy you left standing at the counter at McDonald's with a bag full of burgers. You know it's funny, I tried to walk home and, um, a lot of hungry deer walking around at this hour of the night and, um, oh here's where the story gets fun, uh, you may have noticed I'm missing an ear. Managed to, uh, pull it out of the deer's mouth and put it in some ice I got at a 7-Eleven. So when you are ready to apologize, just talk into this cup.
Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So. . .this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over.